I’ve never thought of reading as an addiction.  Maybe a hobby.  Maybe an interest.  Ok maybe a bit more than either of those things but not really an addiction.  I can quit any time right ? WRONG.  So very wrong.  One of the exercises in my course last week was to not read.  For a whole week.  What kind of freaking crazy, maniacal, sado-masochistic looney tune would ask anyone not to read for a whole damn week ? That is just absurd.  That is just wrong.  That is just a prime example of how addicted I am to books. Well reading more specifically.  Could be a magazine.  Could be a cookbook.  Could be a leaflet.  It just needs to have paper with words on it and I’m good.

Ok – Let’s start again: My name is Elizabeth and I’m a bookaholic.  It has been 2.5 hours since my last piece of literature.  I went cold turkey for one and a half days and that’s been my longest stretch.  Then I got these weird itches in my hands like they wanted to hold something and just can’t find it.  My eyes started to twitch and water like they were bored and need some exercise that a screen just can’t provide.  My nose sniffed the air for the unmistakable aroma of ink and paper.   I tried to stay away.  I tried not to look.  But I had just been to the library for God’s sake !  You expect me to just sit there and stare at a bulging book bag and not do anything about it ? Are you mad ? Have you taken leave of your senses ???

I will gladly fail this part of my course.  I will take the big honking F.  As this is a self directed course with no grades but merely the satisfaction of working towards a personal goal, I will take a bye on this one.  Bye bye no reading.  Bye bye sitting there looking at my children reading and itching to rip the Archie comic out of their hands.  Bye bye opportunity to fill my time with other useful pursuits.  Unless you want me to start attending a real substance abuse program, you’ll hand the book over slow and careful.  That’s right.  Easy does it.  No one needs to get hurt.  I just want the novel.  The magazine.  The cookbook.  Whatever you’ve got, I’ll take it.  It just needs to have paper with words on it and we’ll both walk away just fine.  Not read for a week ? I don’t think so.  But I can stop any time I want to.  I just don’t want to …

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