So we went less than a week before the ugliness of lies reared its head in our house. Caught my son again red handed in to mischief and then he lied to my face. While the initial yelling was quite therapeutic, it did nothing to help the situation. My son has no understanding of the importance in the power of speech and the truth that lies within. No pun intended and believe me, this is no laughing matter.
I’ve decided that yelling, grounding, etc. are fruitless. They are met with pleas for leniency and promises of self-flagellation of epic proportions as he has truly learned his lesson this time. I get assurances that my powers of persuasion have FINALLY made it through his thick skull and we will no longer have to endure his sorry, lying ways. I had to laugh at this with his being so dramatic as to be comical. I’ve seen this act before and it is only award-winning, let alone convincing, in his head.
My plan ? Lies will be met with silence from him. He will lose the privilege to speak unless absolutely necessary like fire, flood or imminent danger. There had better be some kind of 300lb furry beast charging up the driveway to do me bodily harm in order for him to speak unless given permission to do so. Sounds awful ? Sounds too harsh ? I can guarantee you that the power of my words can be much more hurtful than this exercise in silence. I don’t want to hurt any more. Myself or my son. I prefer to laugh than cry.
My goal with this forced silence is to try to get my son to remember that there are those who have no free speech, no voice, no ability to tell their truth and for him to remember that humble privilege such as we are lucky to have in Canada. His words have power. They have impact. His truth is murky right now and that is no laughing matter. I do not respect those I cannot trust. If I cannot see your truth and your understanding of its importance, we will have troubled waters indeed. My son is going to need a life-preserver soon and that is no joke.
If you fill my truth with lies, I will fill your lies with silence. I will remove your ability to shatter my trust further. I will slowly but surely work to remind you that the truth is all you have. The truth is something that no one can take away from you. The truth is your guiding light in times of trouble. If you would rather lie than tell me what you’ve done, don’t do it. Then you will only speak the truth and we will have no reason to live in a silent house. We will laugh together.
My son seems to be processing this idea far better than the yelling and the grounding and the desperate pleas of a desperate mother who no longer believes the words that once tumbled from innocent lips. He’s not yet in a place in his life where he can understand the value of truth and the respect that it deserves. He doesn’t understand that your character is defined by your truth and respect from others, once lost, is so hard to rebuild. How can you rebuild respect when the very voice that lost it in the first place is the only tool you have to use ? Those that believe you can, well, it’s just laughable.